Gratitude

Gratitude
By: Me

Who am I to doubt Your perfections

Who am I to misunderstand Your voice

Who am I to sit when I've been told to stand

Who am I to run when You've whispered slow down

Who am I to ignore Your thunderous sound

Let my heart be still in Your hands

Let my heart be guarded by Your army

Let my heart beat in accordance to You

Let my heart mock Your desires

Let my heart find an all consuming rest

Rid this self of false language from my lips

Rid this self of any fuming rage

Rid this self of unnecessary anger

Rid this self of vindictive thoughts

Rid this self of all that is not You

You've clothed me with compassion 

You've clothed me with kindness

You've clothed me with humility

You've clothed me with gentleness

You've clothed me with patience

Who am I, I am thankful

Who am I, I am enough

Who am I, I am renewed

Who am I, I am beloved

Who am I, I am Yours

I'm Yours.

Simply Run

I am not the same girl anymore, running changed me.

Yesterday was an off day. I was dealing with doubt in myself most of the day. For the last four weeks I've had to tweak my training schedule, move things around, skip days, rest on days I usually run, fit runs in within an hour time slot.. it has left me utterly exhausted. I feel like I haven't given my body time to rest because on rest days I've been busy doing other things when I really need to be sitting down doing nothing. It's messed with my sleeping patterns and ultimately affected my concentration during the day.

As I began my short run yesterday I truly thought I was only going to be able to push out a slow 2 miles because my body was so fatigued. I drank two sparks and even boosted with some catalyst and rehydrate gels in hopes that it would give me the will power to push myself the distance. I did my usual stretching and warm up jog, turned my runkeeper on and pushed play on the same playlist I listen to for every run. The first song that came on was Keep Your Eyes Open by NEEDTOBREATHE. I began my run just like normal and what seemed like a minute later my runkeeper went off saying I was already at a half mile at 4:23 minutes. That is not normal for me. My entire run I kept a 8:02 mile pace. That's the fastest 3 mile pace I've ever ran. My mind had finally slowed down and I was able to concentrate on my run. I haven't been able to do that in weeks. I was starting to think I wouldn't be able to push out a whole marathon. But after yesterday I reminded myself why I started all of this and why it means so much to me. I'm just about half way through training and I'm up to 14 miles which is essentially a half marathon. I needed that good run yesterday, it had perked me back up and has given me the boost I've needed for weeks. My mind has reset and I'm back on track.

I'm also doing a marathon training devotional that has given me so much insist into "running the race God has called us to" through training for a marathon. I need reminded most days that I'm not just running for myself. I'm running for Him too. My thoughts have changed through all of this and I've come out a more positive person. I've gain a respect for myself that I never had before. I'm still learning something new daily and the Lord is opening my eyes to something new on a consistent basis. I saw this quote this morning:

"That's the thing about running: Your greatest runs are rarely measured by racing success. They are moments in time when running allows you to see how wonderful your life is." - Kara Goucher

Yesterday I needed reminded that my life is beautiful and as I was running I replayed all the aspects of my life that are true blessings.

Today I'm thankful to be a runner.

Year 26

This week I turn 26 years young. You could say it's four years to thirty or even six years into my twenties. No matter which way you look at it, it's still my 26th year in existence. I tend to joke about getting older, often I even dread the inevitable. However, this year is different. I'm looking forward to this birthday, not too sure why but 26 sounds like a great number. It's funny because I'm a young soul, and most people don't believe I'm a day older than 21 based on my physical appearance, which on a good day is a compliment but on others not so much. I'm enjoying this "slow down livin" as Corey Crowder would say. I used to move so quickly, I'm thankful the Lord has taught me to slow down and appreciate moments. I enjoy having this free spirit, it leaves room for lovely adventures.

I couldn't be more thankful for these past 26 years. So many different phases, experiences, lessons.. Even in the last year I feel like a totally new person. It's like I've been on this soul vacation and I've finally gotten off the train. I've never been more certain of who I am and what I want. That doesn't mean I have everything perfected, far from that. I'm imperfect and I love that. Each year brings so many new life challenges and chances to grow in ways I didn't even know were possible. 

I'd be lying if I said I knew for sure I was exactly where I need to be right now. When I was younger I always thought anyone over 24 should be married, having children and in the midst of their careers. But here I am sitting in the 26 club doin my own thing. If you would have asked me a year ago how I felt about that you probably would have gotten a "sigh... I'm behind in life" but now I can  just laugh it off. There's no reason to wish your life away. If I'm single I'm single. If I have a boyfriend then awesome. Its exhausting trying to please everyone with what is ultimately my decison (with Gods guidance of course). 

I have nothing but high hopes for year 26, I have a good feeling lots of major life adventures are going to take place and I couldn't be more excited about what's to come.  I'm already starting down a few new roads right now and I'm carrying all sorts of emotions as I begin this exciting time. 

Whether I find my soul mate this year, get married, take a new job and move across the country or hitch a ride with a semi truck and travel across the US or even jump out of a plane. Getting a year older is a time to celebrate all the life you've lived already and to anticipate the life you will continue to pursue. I'm gearing up for the best year yet and I'm pumped for the people I get to do life with  as I go while I patiently wait on what gifts the Lord has wrapped up for me to rip open like a two year old Christmas morning.

Happy Birthday to me. Cheers y'all.

Boarding.

Feet hustling across crowded aisles

Frantic faces gathering one by one

"Ticket 720, seat 26"

She walks alone.

Boarding.

She sits alone.

Boarding.

Glancing out the window

Watching a picture show of trees

Faster..faster..faster

She's off.

In the direction of the sun

Holding ticket 720, sitting in seat 26

Boarded.